I Used To Be Her Everything
by Alias-JoyLemmon
Summary: What happened if Bella never jumped, and Alice didn't suddenly see Bella disappear from her visions? What if, years later, Edward comes back for an impromptu visit Song fic - song of same name by Adam Harvey


**I Used to Be Her Everything**

_Edward comes back a few years later – set if Bella hadn't jumped, and she slowly stopped appearing in Alice' visions, but Alice thought nothing of it_

_**Old habits sure die hard**_

_**And just like that you're caught off guard**_

_**And you find yourself getting lost again**_

_**And ending up back home**_

I wasn't planning on coming this far down – I was only going for a run from our home in Canada.

This certainly caught me off guard.

I'm not ready for this – not after I left her broken.

But it seems my heart has decided to see if she still is happy, back here, back _home_

_**I didn't mean to wind up here**_

_**Blame it all on me**_

I guess old habits die hard, when it comes to Bella. Gods I missed her, but, even if I do see her, she cannot see me.

I that would break her, I'm sure, and I wouldn't put her thorught that again.

Even though she can blame it on me – I deserved it, naturally.

_**I used to be her everything but**_

_**Everything's not what it used to be**_

But I was her world, her everything once. I think I owe it to myself, if nothing else, to make sure that she is happy.

Such a shame that everything is not what it used to be.

_**She used to say I was her world**_

_**And I was everything ever mattered**_

_**She laid her hot hand in my hand no knowing**_

_**That her world would slowly shatter**_

As I walk through this forest, so familiar in it's way, I remember her telling me that I was her world – indeed, she had been mine.

I was everything that ever mattered to her – I could see it in her eyes when she awoke to find me there, smiling at her.

It is, perhaps, a good thing that I let her go when I had – she would not be one of us, she deserved to live.

She didn't deserve to have her life shattered, like me and my family's had.

She deserved to be human.

_**I let her down so many times **_

_**Until she finally realized that**_

_**She was dieing living life with me**_

I let her down, time and again, my failures to protect her.

I wonder if she's realized that she was dieing slowly, unnoticed by humans, but to me it was very real.

I was sapping her vitality – her soul. Because I was – am – a vampire.

That is what I do.

I take.

_**I used to be her everything but**_

_**Everything's not what it used to be**_

She didn't believe that of course, even if I had told her.

I used to be her everything, but everything isn't what it used to be.

_**And this old house sure looks good**_

_**She's done the things we said we would**_

_**I wonder if I cross her mind**_

_**From time to time these days**_

I follow her scent to an old Colonial-style home, something that Esme would be proud of. She's everything we said we'd do – get a nice house, fix it up, live forever,

I wonder if she still thinks of me, whether a scent, a sparkle will remind her of me.

Even if it is just a flitting thought, at least I would know that she knew I was still alive.

_**Looks like she's moved on**_

_**But I'm back here**_

_**Blaming it all on me**_

She's obviously moved on, and here am I, reminiscing about times that can never come around again.

I'm stills tuck in the past, our past.

I'm still blaming it all on me.

It is all my fault.

_**I used to be her everything but**_

_**Everything's not what it used to be**_

Not even being loves could stop her from everything that would eventually crush her.

She couldn't stand up to Volturi inspection. I wouldn't let here within a 500 mile radius of that place.

No, it was good that I stopped things where I had.

If we had gone further, I would have had no choice but to change her.

_**She used to say I was her world**_

_**And I was everything ever mattered**_

_**She laid her hot hand in my hand no knowing**_

_**That her world would slowly shatter**_

I used to be her world, everything that had ever mattered to her – she took my dead, frozen hand in her warm one, caressing it, drawing designs onto it.

She would never know – not as I did – that her world would slowly shatter if she stayed with me.

If I stayed with her.

_**I let her down so many times **_

_**Until she finally realized that**_

_**She was dieing living life with me**_

My failures only add to my incompetence.

I think she realized, before the end, that she was dieing slowly by staying with me.

Things were coming to an end anyway.

I'm just glad I could give it a clean break.

_**I used to be her everything but**_

_**Everything's not what it used to be**_

How I wish I could go back, tell her I love her one more time, have more risky kiss, one more touch, just to prove to myself that it was real for the short time I had with her.

_**Oh I used to be her everything but**_

_**Everything's not what it used to be**_

She was my world, my everything.

So much has changed since then.

Everything's not what it used to be.


End file.
